I have often found myself bathing in the plurality of
thoughts, some reminding past, some forecasting future while none presenting
the present, most of the times. Waiting for someone to pick them up has proved
of no use, except their catching the glimpse of rivulet, screaming hesitant negotiation.
Yah after all telling it every time from your own aggravates it since you can’t
just be leaking everything out to some stranger with pearl eyes watered in
grief similar to yours, even if to some extent! Therefore waiting for alien
lips to understand it themselves is better; I think so, drawing coherence to
myself being kind of laconic. Patience
prevails sullenly and I wait but the question arises “how much?”
These kind of situations aren’t that common since people
speak on their own, they discuss their problems with their loved ones and find
the burden reduced. They do it the preferable social way while some people
handle it on their own or rather try to fix it up, sometimes ending up in
frustration, tears, heartbreak, revenge, attitudinal problems, sleeplessness, lack
of hunger, lack of guts, lack of money, lack of love and wander what else could
go bad- lack of oneself, from what you were then to what you are now, no don’t
worry, it’s a sort of after pain, you remorse after the transformation! Some
remain where they’ve reached, some return back to where they started from while
some are caught in the middle and some even show the world they’re just cool and
happy somewhere between the 2 points though they actually aren’t (they seem the
best actors of the world to me)!
I remember of someone whom I’d offended a couple of years
back and there was all the usual fuss over it, that person, what he/she had
gone through really makes me jab myself now, actually I apologized to him/her
after a year had passed, a year, literally! I thought I’d asked for apology
earlier but according to that guy I hadn’t , so let’s just put it as if I hadn’t
and I asked for it later on his/her being actually frustrated at that reminiscence
and softly yelling at me as if stealthily asking for it. I now think that had I
just talked to him/her or tried to just excavate something out of the brains, I
would have done it earlier; Come on, you don’t need a Da Vinci to read remote feelings!
And when that person made me realize my mistakes, I became particularly more
cautious in this field; I wish some could have been too!
And back to some thoughts (had I been on mercury I’d be a
Jupitarian by now!)……
The plurality of thoughts intensifies so much that it takes
over my decisions! I then have to eject all the trash out of my system just
like we do with our computer and our homes. Our home is ours, it belongs only
to us. Imagine someone entering your home forcefully and toying with your
things, your valuables, dumping their house’s garbage in yours, would you let
that happen ever? No you won’t! Similarly your mind is yours, never let others
enter your space and toy with your feelings and impose their whims and fancies
on you, never ever allow that. Just close the doors of your mind for any such
person or activity like you would have done with those of your home. And coming
back to the point, the sharing issues, well, general viewpoint says value your
emotions over time (ostensibly), so you may go ahead over a cup of coffee with your loved one. Yes that’ll certainly do the job plus the caffeine! Haha!
I wish that could have done the job for me. People who know me, know well!
By the way, who knows, one day might be sitting in CCD with my Gf!
;) :P
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| BFF- Silence |
